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House stretched his legs out and shifted his weight on the park bench, trying to get comfortable. He was not in a good mood. Not that that made today different from any other day, but still. He was sitting in the middle of a crowded park on a sunny day, torture in and of itself. To add insult to injury, Wilson was taking forever to buy his hot dog and House still didn't know what was wrong with his patient.

On the other hand, Crazy Girl was trying to sneak up on him. Things were looking up.

She snatched his cane. He snatched it back, yanking her towards him. She almost fell over. Heh. "Thinking you could sneak up on me makes you an idiot," he said in a conversational tone. "Trying to steal from a cripple just makes you pathetic."

"This isn't about you," she said indignantly. Interesting. You didn't often get moral indignation from cane thieves. "At least, it might not be. Ask the duck." She nodded towards the duck drawn in bright yellow paint on the DO NOT FEED THE DUCKS sign.

And then she grabbed his cane. Damnit.

He eyed her suspiciously. "You speak quack?" He wasn't going to rule anything out at this point, no matter how insane.

In response, Crazy Pathetic Idiot Girl threw his cane in the lake. His jaw dropped. "What is wrong with you?" he demanded, watching the painted flames on the end of his cane bob and swirl as they went under. Huh. Flames...going under...not ruling anything out... "Wilson!"

"Yeah?" Wilson trotted obediently over, bearing hot dogs. He looked at Crazy Cane-Stealing Girl curiously. "Who is she, House? And where's your cane?"

House responded with a social pleasantry of his own. "Give me your cellphone."

"Why? Did you want to call a hooker?"

"No, that's why I have you." Wilson gave him a mild look. House sighed and answered the question. "I know what she has."

"Who?" Wilson asked, glancing over at Crazy Girl.

"My patient! Duh! Now, cellphone!" He made snappy gestures with his fingers.

Wilson forked over the phone, and Crazy Girl slunk off ignominiously.

House smirked to himself. Not bad for a day's work!


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